HOST
by ooperdupe
Summary: Handsome. Organized. Strategist. Thieves. The host club is secretly a group of bank robbers. My attempt at an Ouran fic, meant to be humor with a dash of fluff but might not be all that funny. Each chapter is a different host and what they do for the club. Please read!


** I do not own Ouran or any of the characters.I'm going to have a different sort of one shot for every character. Hope you enjoy the story.**

** Haruhi: The distraction/Bait**

Haruhi walked into the bank like any other person would. She was well aware of the idiots trailing behind her in attempts to be secretive. She let out a long sigh and stepped up to the front counter.

"Hello young man, can I help you?" The old woman at the desk asked smiling one of those ridiculous old people smiles. Haruhi smiled back a little uncomfortable.

"Uh, yeah, My um, brother asked me to take some money from his account." Haruhi said uncertainly, they really should have thought of a reason for her to be there if she was going to be the distraction.

** Meanwhile around the back...**

Tamaki held his chin in his hand and tapped his foot anxiously. His little girl had been far too unconvincing in her distraction. Kyoya glanced at him from over his book which he was writing who knows what in. He could even be doodling. (**Or there's always the possibility that its a deathnote)**

"Tama-Chan, calm down. I'm sure Haru-Chan will be just fine!" Honey beamed up at him,clutching Usa-Chan firmly in his hands. Tamaki ignored the smaller Lolita type. He was glancing nervously in the general direction she was in, unable to actually see her since they were still outside.

"Hey Boss, we're in." The twins said in unison placing their hands on their hips triumphantly with a satisfied smirk on their faces. Kyoya looked up as Tamaki made his way to the door. He would go in first to make sure nobody was there, and if someone was there he would use his princely charm to win them over.

"Hey guys! Your distraction is running out of lines, better get this done quick!" They heard Renge's voice over the earpiece they all had.

Kyoya pressed the button and spoke, "Alright. Tamaki best hurry unless you want "Your little girl" To be dragged away by police." He said turning his attention to Tamaki who nodded and took a deep breath before stepping through the doorway into the dark vault doors.

When he saw two guards standing at the lock to the room they kept the money, he frowned and left without being seen.

"Mori, Honey, there are two guards, usual arsenal, and a little too interested in doughnuts. Can you take them?" He said directing his attention to the tallest and shortest members of the group. Honey gave a cute nod before tugging down a little black ninja mask on his purple bunny and Mori gave a grunt in confirmation.

**Back with Haruhi...**

"I'm sorry dear, we don't have anyone by that name in our lists. Perhaps you should try a different bank," The woman pinched the bridge of her nose. Haruhi had asked her if she was sure about three times and each time the woman checked again and each time the result was the same.

Haruhi re examined the piece of paper she was supposedly given to look authentic for her role as confused little brother. They were cutting it a little close this time...She could only act confused and uncertain for so long before people caught on that she was lying and that never looked well for the team.

"I, uh I guess I'll try somewhere else, I was sure he said it was this bank and not any of the others." Haruhi did her best to look confused, she was beginning to sweat in the fitting black suit with the crooked bow-tie that Renge had insisted she wear to look the part.

Suddenly there was a shout and a crash, Haruhi along with all the other people fluttering about the spacious bank spun their heads to see what had caused the noise.

Out of the restroom came two boys with spiky red hair and big sunglasses, very identical. They whispered some kind of argument under their breaths careful enough so that everyone could hear the whisper but nobody could hear well enough to know what they whispered about.

Once they approached the front desk only shooting a small glance with a wink in Haruhi's direction. Haruhi pretended to be just as awestruck as everybody else in the building.

"Hello princess, I know you may not know this, but the bank is being robbed as we speak." Kaoru said flashing her a charming smile. Hikaru shot a look at him and jabbed his elbow into Kaoru's ribs.

"Ow, Hikaru! That hurt," He said in a hushed pouty way, Hikaru looked apologetically at his brother, Haruhi rolled her eyes, here they go again. When Haruhi actually looked at the boys again they were In some dramatic embrace that made every woman and admittedly a couple guys swoon.

"Haruhi, Kyoya just cracked the safe, they'll be out in a few moments. Tell the twins to get out so you don't all leave together." Renge said over the earpiece. Haruhi nodded and then realized that Renge couldn't see her. "Okay." She whispered as a few of the employees looked at her.

"Excuse me! You two, I was here before you so please step aside so I can speak with the desk lady." Haruhi said in her best annoyed customer voice, which considering some of the women she had to deal with, was not that hard to do.

"Sorry, I thought you were going to check another back for your brother's money," The woman turned her annoyed gaze back onto Haruhi and glared at her for being rude to the twins. If only she knew them.

"It's fine Ma'am, we were just leaving." Kaoru smiled checking his expensive silver watch, the woman batted her eyelashes in a way probably meant to be flirtatious but ended up rather frightening. Haruhi almost laughed at the forced smile Hikaru sent her.

"Haruhi, I suggest you leave now. The police have seen you at every bank robbery this month, they'll figure it out eventually so get out!" Renge's shrill voice sounded in Haruhi's earpiece and the latter flinched when she made the mic crack.

"Your service quality sucked anyway," Haruhi muttered at the woman as she followed the twins out the door, the alarm lights flashed as she did so and several police cars swerved into the bank parking lot.

A few hours later the H.O.S.T club sat on the overpriced furniture in Music room 3. Tamaki and the twins were entertaining clients while Mori and Honey tested all the cake they had bought and Kyoya and Renge counted their earnings for the last request.

Haruhi stood up and made her way to Kyoya and Renge the only seemingly normal ones of the group, but even they had their moments of weird.

**Let me know what y'all thought of this chapter. The next one will be about the twins and each chapter will be a different scheme with a different member of the group. I'm not real great at the humor so if its not funny I'm sorry. If anyone had anything funny let me know in a review or PM and I'll try to include it somehow. REVIEW! **


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